Introduction:
Hi! Yes, I’m talking to you—the incredible woman of colour who seems to have it all together. Excelling in your career while managing a busy family life and being the go-to person for everyone around you. You’re nothing short of amazing! But I know that behind that superwoman facade, there might be a longing for a little breathing room, a moment of peace, and some well-deserved time for yourself. In this blog post, we’re going on a journey to discover how you can embrace who you are and find that much-needed balance amidst all those overwhelming expectations. We’ll dive deep into the world of the Superwoman subgroup of imposter syndrome and explore practical strategies to create space for self-care both at work and at home.
In the previous few weeks we have looked more generally at imposter syndrome, which centres around people who have an internalised belief of being unworthy on inadequate. We’ve identified that there are five subgroups, the perfectionist, the natural genius, the soloist, the expert and today we will look at the superwoman.
Are you ready to embark on this empowering adventure? Let’s go!
Understanding Superwoman
You know that feeling of being expected to excel in every aspect of life and striving to live up to that? It’s called being the superwoman, and you’re not alone in experiencing it. It is a subgroup of imposter syndrome because sometimes the driving force behind it is a worry that you are not good enough and other people will discover this.
As a high-achieving woman of colour with a lot on your plate, it’s natural to feel the pressure to live up to everyone’s expectations. Balancing family, career, and personal life can be challenging, but remember, asking for support is okay. Looking after yourself is a must, not a luxury.
This is Natalie
Much like you, Natalie is doing really well in her career. She works as a partner in a law firm, and while she is among the youngest in her position in her firm, she is highly capable and respected. She is often asked to go above and beyond, and it is not unusual to hear others say, “I don’t know, but ask Natalie, she’ll find a solution”.
Natalie regularly moves from being under enormous pressure to perform at work to looking after everyone else in her personal life. A few of her friends can see what’s happening and try to support her, but neither Natalie nor her friends know where to start.
Recognising the impact
All the responsibilities are take their toll on Natalie’s well-being, both mentally and physically.
As the dependable person everyone turns to, Natalie often finds herself last on the list. But Natalie needs and deserves a break too!
Ignoring self-care had led her to a place of exhaustion and feeling unfulfilled.
At the end of another meeting, where she left with more actions to complete than anyone else, she decided things had to change!
She decides to seek therapy and attend one session of single-session therapy to help her to clarify what she needs to do. She then decides to use a goal-setting journal to make some much-needed changes.
Strategies for moving away from being Superwoman that Natalie implements
Setting realistic expectations
Natalie achieves this by prioritising her responsibilities and setting achievable goals. She comes to understand that she doesn’t have to be perfect in every role and it’s okay to ask for help. Ultimately, she gives herself some grace and feels so much better for it.
Reflect on your own life and think about whether there are areas where you have expectations for yourself that you wouldn’t put on anyone else. If this is the case for you, this is a good place to start making small changes.
Learning to establish boundaries
Through reflection, she realises that if she doesn’t define her limits, both at work and at home, other people will do this for her.
She finds this difficult, but over time she learns to say “no”. She also practises delegating tasks. Her junior team members really benefit from working more closely with her while also having the chance to prove themselves.
Are there boundary lines that you need to draw? Stop for a moment now and think about what they are. Start with a small boundary, each time you make progress the next step will be easier.
Practicing self-compassion
She asks herself what she would do for or say to a friend in various situations. This helps her to be kinder to herself. You can do the same!
Embrace the fact that you’re human, and it’s okay to have imperfections. Celebrate your achievements, no matter how big or small, and let go of that self-criticism.
Seeking support and delegating
She looks at who she could build a strong support network at work and in her personal life.
Perhaps you can do the same. Surround yourself with understanding and respectful people who can lend a helping hand. You don’t have to do it all alone.
Embracing work-life integration
Natalie starts to strive for a balance that works for her. She initially struggles to take her break at work, so she starts small. Natalie finds a Netflix show that she really enjoys and decides that she will only watch it while she was at work on a break. She begins with ten minutes each day and builds up from there.
This may work for you. Incorporate activities that bring you joy into your work day. Find moments of relaxation amidst the hustle. Start small. Each change will have a profoundly positive impact.
Enhancing her time management skills
She commits to prioritising her tasks and setting realistic deadlines. She actually discovers that when she stops pushing herself so hard, her output is still high. Giving herself space gives her much needed head space.
Try breaking down larger projects into manageable steps. Avoid overloading yourself with too many responsibilities. It is normal to worry that you won’t get enough done.
Prioritising self-care
Self-care is a necessity, not a luxury that any of us can do without. Natalie identifies one thing each week she can do either at home or at work that is solely about self-care.
She puts in two hours aside for herself at the weekends. Natalie put it in her diary and keeps it as an appointment.
For anyone she thinks won’t respect this, she tells them that she has an appointment (and she does have an appointment with herself!) that can’t be moved.
Over time, people get used to this.
Reflect on your own situation. This one is crucial.
Make self-care a non-negotiable part of your routine. Find time for activities that nourish your mind, body, and soul. Whether it’s exercise, hobbies, or quality time with loved ones, you deserve it.
Conclusion
You are a remarkable woman, and your well-being matters just as much as anyone else’s.
Coping with the pressure to be Superwoman can be tricky, but by implementing these strategies, you can find balance and take that much-needed break.
Remember, it’s okay to set boundaries. It helps you and also allows others to understand what you will and will not do for them. Seek support, and prioritise self-care. You deserve to thrive both at work and at home.
Take care of yourself, and embrace the journey of finding balance and self-care in the midst of your busy and successful life.
You’ve got this!